And… I take after my Dad. If you’re asked a difficult question, give yourself a few minutes to determine how you want to respond, says Sullivan. Sometimes people answer honestly with a touch of spite as an attempt to get even for something else in the relationship. In his mind, I wanted an honest answer, not an indirect complement. When we women ask our guys a question about our looks, many times we are hoping they will say something like, “Your hair looks beautiful,” not “Yeah, it really is time to trim those dead ends.” Eric does not answer my questions with unnecessary cruelty and tactlessness, he just answers them honestly. It means exactly what it says. Instead, gently get to the root of the question. Don’t get upset if you don’t have a story to answer the first question you read. It might be that the customer is asking about a product or service you don’t even offer. You probably won’t get much deeper than, “I don’t know; I just like it.” Now, find a Mercedes owner. I urge you to notice your questions and practice only asking questions when you want, and are prepared for, the answer. http://amzn.to/2hEF2tC Interviewers are more interested to see how you handle challenges and work through tough problems than knowing that you have all of the right answers. A good doctor will answer, "That's a good question and I don't know the answer, but I will look into it and get back to you by email or at our next visit." To really ask is to open the door to the whirlwind. This is a lesson I learned early in our marriage. Handle Uncomfortable Questions with Polite, Direct Language. When you are interviewing for an internal position within your company, you may be asked what you will do if you don't get the job.The interviewer wants to know whether you are concerned about just the advancement opportunity or the company. Especially when it comes to your ex in a breakup. How often do you ask questions that are passive attempts at complements? If you just give up and admit defeat, then at least you're being honest, but the student still isn't finding out what he/she wanted to know. If that’s the case, yo… Some people are long winded and rather wordy. Narcissists don’t answer questions because they like it when you are confused and uncertain. They Like It When You’re Confused. Give it a minute and then move on. That diet is really working!” This is a hint to men on how to live with your woman in an understanding way (I Peter 3:7). No matter what your job or level, your work life is always throwing questions at you. Unless you are sure of what the question is about, don’t proceed to give an answer if you are doubtful. Don’t immediately resort to a panic response. But despite her technical chops, people kept sidestepping her and going to her boss with questions that she could have answered. You’d only learn that today, its behavior was a bit better. Don't ask, "How many men have you had sex with?" “Wow, I love your earrings! Or, in some cases, they’ll say something that is completely out of context. Ask them WHY they chose Mercedes. If you don’t answer it correctly or handle the topic with skill, you are most likely out of the interview process. When I was a software trainer I used to be an expert in the Lotus spreadsheet package. It turns out that the tech-savvy PhD was in a job that required her to represent the department in senior-level executive meetings where it had been deemed acceptable—even encouraged—to inter… “Bill, I do believe your hunter green shirt brings out your eyes! My father is a peacemaker. Your shoes are awesome! Any time you can answer one of them, add that story to your list. Your reaction, if you can't immediately come up with an answer, can be more important than the ability to deliver a response. But trust me, I’ve been a victim of that ignorance, you should never ask questions you don’t want the answer to. Have you lost weight?” Females complement each other as a way of life. Flower, 30, was arrested last week for domestic battery after allegedly striking his wif Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Most seasoned hiring managers can tell when someone isn’t telling the truth and you never know when one may ask a follow-up question that you can’t answer. Ladies, we all know if we’ve gained weight. if she is not prepared to hear, "Yes." The other reason you doctor does not know the answer is that your "doctor" is really not a doctor, but a mid-level provider who doesn't have the knowledge or experience to answer your question. If an employer asks illegal employment questions, you don’t have to answer. Clever. Some of them are easy to answer with a confident “yes,” “no,” or a well-reasoned explanation. You're your own worst enemy if you ask questions you don't really want the answer to. Take Time To Respond. You see though, I’m not dead. There's a long list of conversations, that as Christians, I think is completely fruitless to engage in with a non-believer. 6. Required fields are marked *. Some men are romantics at heart, and it is natural for them to say, “You are beautiful!” or “Your eyes sparkle!” Yet, a good majority of men do not naturally think to give complements all the time because many men do not need constant complements themselves. So rather than give you any sort of clarity, they either don’t answer at all, or they only offer very vague answers. In fact, you can always say “no” to answering questions that make you feel uncomfortable. Even if you don't know what the answer is, you can tell the interviewer the steps you would take to figure out the problem. Please enter your e-mail address. Interestingly, I have become very thankful for his consistent honesty. If you can't handle the answer, why ask the question. Generally, if it can be used to discriminate, it’s off limits. If our husbands say, “No, it doesn’t,” we say, “Are you sure you’re not just saying that?”. Example: A woman should not ask "Do these pants make my butt look big?" I’m here. Still you’re likely to get a legitimate question or two that you never considered and that leaves you wondering, “Where did that question come from — out of left field. Try not to stress out. A recruiter may ask a general question to either assess your response or expecting you to provide a specific answer. I’m watching. 4 Ways To Handle An Interview Question You Don’t Understand. … Why thanks, Mitch… and may I say, you look so good in that suit. Ladies, think about it. One heartfelt complement per day will make her security skyrocket – and it will remind you of how blessed you are to have her. Grab the nearest person and ask them what their favorite color is. You created a list of all expected possible questions based upon your innovative presentation. I like the conversational tone and enjoyed reading. That’s right, I played a little game. If you still run into a question that you just don’t know how to answer, stay calm, take your time answering, and if you have to, just give your answer later on in your follow-up email. Since this was a far cry from what my father would’ve said, I was in shock. If they say, “Yes, it does,” we act hurt and wonder why they didn’t tell us … Memo to Dominique Flower: Do not ask a question about your penis if you are not prepared to handle the answer. If someone asked me, “Does my rear look big in these?” I’d have to think of the most non-offensive way to be honest. The key is to respect the student's desire to learn. Another good example is a man asking his gf about her sexual history. if you can't handle the answer, "So many that I've lost count." While it’s certainly best to be honest, you’ll want to offer something beyond candor to demonstrate you are able to address the question. Your email address will not be published. After considering the situation, I realized I could not be angry with my husband for honestly answering a question that I asked. One of the cruelest things women do to men on a regular basis is ask them “no win” questions. “Does this dress make my rear end look big?” One of the cruelest things women do to men on a regular basis is ask them “no win” questions. There are a lot of guys with degrees that spout unreviewed or disproven nonsense, the guy who fueled the antivax movement with the bullshit autism study had a PhD. Sign up for coaching with Donna: http://www.nydatingcoach.com/rates.html Donna Barnes is an NYU Certified Life \u0026 Relationship Coach, Heartbreak Coach, Founder of Donna Barnes Dating, Relationship Expert for Good Morning America, and Author of Giving Up Junk-Food Relationships: Recipes for Healthy Choices. In the software world, I often use this when working with client developers who want an opinion on how to code something. Say, “I don’t know.”. Don’t rush into giving the first answer that comes to mind. I once spoke with a woman who was truly an expert in her field—the only engineer on her software team with a PhD. They may frame a question in a confusing way, leaving you to believe you don’t know how to answer it, or even worse, that you don’t have the faintest idea what they’re talking about. I have had many questions considered hate questions, and I have answered them with the word of God. Oct 26, 2013 - Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer. Though I cannot remember the first “no win” question I asked him, I DO remember that he was bluntly honest. Can we see the peer reviewed papers in at least a citation? 3. Researching the perfect answer isn’t generally worth it, and if my suggestion is bad, it usually only impacts a single story or requires a refactor down the road. You can also subscribe without commenting. Men, when your woman does ask you a question, try to answer honestly, but not brutally. It’s no longer a game, it’s life, and now I’m trapped endlessly. 1. It makes me comfortable to know that each complement is a real complement, and it has taught me to only ask questions that I really want answered. On that list of conversations is the issue of homosexuality. Ok, but where's the science? Don't Ask Questions if You Can't Handle the Answers - YouTube The fact that you asked them to write down their responses after 20 seconds of silence did not shift their mindset about the question; it shifted the mechanism by which you got your answer. It is so easy to do that we don’t always know we are doing it! How did I miss that one?” Unless you’re psychic, you can’t […] If you were to ask: “How was the dog with bike riders today?” then you’d leave space for an answer which may not include information on barking.The dog walker may reply, “Today was better!” With that answer, you wouldn’t know whether the dog actually barked or not. Many a date night has been ruined by the asking and answering of a “no win” question. On the day of presentations, one of the student speakers came to me and said “In this particular part of the presentation, I am making a statement. Maintaining a calm, confident posture when confronted with a tough question will help convince the recruiter that your inability to answer a question is an unusual occurrence for you. If the topic is deeply personal, complicated, emotional, or inappropriate for the setting, you can confidently tell the other person that you don’t want to answer the question.. You look so good! Though the “Does my rear end look big in these jeans?” question is a “no win” question, it should not be answered with a “I thought you stuffed beach balls in your pants!” A simple, “Yes, a little” will suffice, and likely keep her from ever asking you such a question again (unless she becomes brave enough and really wants to know)! Now, ask them why. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. Once she is completely secure that you love her and find her attractive, there will no longer be a need for to keep asking you “no win” questions.  My husband says that a woman’s security – in relation to her man – is like a gas tank: it needs to keep being filled by tenderness and care – otherwise it will eventually run completely out and you’ll have significant repairs to make.  But, ladies, it is also up to you to not put your man in that “no win” situation. How often do you hear this conversation around the water cooler? On the contrary, they try to wring from the unknown the answers they have already shaped in their own minds -- justifications, confirmations, forms of consolation without which they can't go on. 2. Guessing the answer to a question can be dangerous, but often when the stakes are low and the cost of finding the real answer is high, this can be the right solution. For that reason, I have never asked him if my rear end looks big. Another technique is to google up some lists of behavioral interviews questions, the more the merrier, then think carefully about one after another. Forever. Sometimes these questions are asked out of desperation for a complement. Nov 5, 2013 - Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer. Mortal or immortal, few really ask. If our husbands say, “No, it doesn’t,” we say, “Are you sure you’re not just saying that?” If they say, “Yes, it does,” we act hurt and wonder why they didn’t tell us more gently. If you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question. Why do people ask a question concerning homosexuality, and then have the answer deleted because they don't like it? “Take thinking time,” he says. If you avoid the question or give an answer you know is inadequate, then you're being deliberately unhelpful. My husband possesses the “honesty is always the best policy” gene. My husband does not possess the peacemaker gene. When I answer a question about homosexuality, I always use God's word ad my response. The best collection of quotes and sayings for every situation in life. Keep going. Pre-Engagement Counseling – Program Information, Premarital Counseling – Program Information, Agreement for PreEngaged’s Coaching Services. He does not like to hurt anyone’s feelings, and if he thinks he has, it makes him sick until he apologizes and makes amends with the offended party. You will likely get some superficial rationalization about … Not saying he's wrong, but don't know if he's right The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner.” Use the general list of inappropriate interview questions topics above to know the questions you can’t ask in an interview; What not to ask in an interview comes down to intent. Inside the board that called my killers. Men, your woman needs to hear, and keep hearing, how you feel about her and she needs to know, and keep knowing, that you think she is attractive. Thanks, Your email address will not be published. If you cannot handle the answer… Don’t ask the question… Recently I was part of an event where I was helping a few students prepare their presentations. Parallel Answer If you don’t know the bull’s eye answer to a question, offer what you do know quickly to demonstrate some credibility and then combine with a previous technique. Ladies, we all know if we’ve gained weight. You will receive a new password via e-mail. The same logic applies in other settings – security needs.

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